I wrote this obviously last week but had not a chance to publish it. Apologies for the confusion! Bear in mind this might happen a bit with uploading stuff.
It's funny (and good) to be home again after being out bush for three weeks. It amazes me how tired I can be when I finally allow my body to sit back, relax and say no work for 7 days. Yay!
But it also amazes me over the little things. For example, coming home to a house that's been cared for without my being there. Realising that by coming home, I've interrupted Dale's routine of how he does things, and wondering what to do or food to buy since I won't be here in 5 days. I never realised how hard it'd be FIFOing away from my partner, simply because our time together is so precious.
But I am enjoying the fact that I can get away now, I know I can do it, as much as it sucks. It was something I needed to do, and Dale knows it, so it's not such an issue.
Even thoough we've had arguments about it. It's funny as well because he now knows what it's like to be the one stuck at home while the other goes away. Holding down the fort and being the one who's partner is absent whenever there's a function on. It's a horrible feeling and one that we both know all too well.
The anger you feel towards your partner for leaving you when you're stuck at home having to look after everything when they go out bush and get to at least talk to people at the end of the day. The feeling of "I'm stuck here while you're off doing your thing" plays on your mind as well.
And when your partner does come home, "how dare you leave all your crap around when you haven't been home at all this last week". I know it, Dale knows it, any partner or a shift worker/FIFO worker?Defence member knows it.
On the flip side, the feeling of being away from everything at home, the knowledge that the people you work with, your partner is never going to know, the hardships of working on ANZAC Day when all you want to do is be in town to be with your boy on his day of days, and one that has always meant so much to you, once you finally understood the meaning of it.
It saddens me knowing in 5 days I won't be here anymore. My boy will be accessible by phone or email only, not hugs and kisses whenever I want.
That it 4 months' time he'll be overseas...
The sacrifices you make now more than make up for the regrets you may have in the future. And if you are truly in love, then as hard and as angry you'll be at times (because it is only human nature to be so), the happiest you'll be when you throw your arms around one another for the first time in a long time.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment